– Applying for the job of building maintenance (a live-in position)

We’re not Manual people

So there is nothing for you to read

But I guess I could show you around 

–

Earthquakes have shaken this foundation

Hurricanes tear through 

And you can brace

You can tape the windows 

Minimise the damage 

But they still shatter 

I don’t so much mind the windows 

Its the floor that’s the problem 

I can’t remember how they got this way

I think it just came this way 

And got worse over time 

Massive holes

Missing planks

Exposed joists 

You can see upstairs from downstairs 

You can see the basement from the attic

But its best you don’t look down 

We think the basement is flooded anyway 

I know it looks like chaos but

We have a system 

We have loose planks to walk across the big holes 

And we mostly try to live in the upper levels 

Its where most of the jobs are anyway 

So we keep busy 

And you just don’t look down

But sometimes 

Because we don’t look down

We miss the holes 

And we fall through the levels 

But that is why we’re always attached to the bungee cord 

Sometimes I forget to tie the knot 

And I think I’m attached 

But I just keep falling 

There aren’t any stairs in the basement

And because its flooded down there

The lights don’t work 

So its hard to get out 

Once you’re in there 

You just have to lasso things from upper levels 

Sometimes you pull them down here with you

And eventually you can make a pile big enough 

To stand on so you can get out 

Or sometimes you get lucky and 

You lasso something that is big enough to hold you

And that’s how you get out quicker 

Quicker is better.

Bad things happen in the basement.

Time slows down

The air is colder 

The longer you spend down here 

the harder it is to get out 

So we try to keep out of the basement 

Best we stay up here 

Riffling through the attic 

Where there are windows and boxes 

boxes of things 

Keep looking

Its hot up here

And there isn’t much airflow

But its the safest part 

The most productive part.

Most people think the safest part is the couch

Or the bed

And getting on to them is easy 

But getting off them is the tricky part 

The holes are so close

 If you are 

Too relaxed 

you can forget they are there 

And you just slip down 

Back to the basement 

So even when you’re resting 

You need to be vigilant 

Because cracks appear all the time 

And you can just fall through.

The good news is 

We always get out of the basement 

Eventually.

And the bungee is a good system

When it works

You just bounce from thing to thing 

From wall to ceiling

And its effective 

Productive 

Joyful even 

I should tell you though 

Because I think if you’re going to work here 

You should know

About the choppers 

And the saw’ers –

They come and they put you in the basement.

The Choppers

They are fast 

& quite 

Sometimes you see them do it 

Sometimes you only see them when you’re already falling 

And it doesn’t matter where you are 

What you’re doing 

Or how tight your knots are 

They have big sharp scissors 

And they chop through that big bungee cord 

Like a samurai in the night.

The choppers are actually ghosts 

Of people

Of memories 

And they come in whenever they please 

With their ghost bodies and big scissors 

And you have to fight it out with them in the basement 

But if you win

They let you leave 

If you loose 

You have to get out of the basement yourself.

And the saw’ers 

They are different to the Choppers

they want you to know they are there

They are loud

Distracting 

Menacing 

Taunting you

Saw you 

See you 

They like to chase you

Their saws are blunt, rusty 

Its the repetition 

Each swipe they take 

Back and forth 

Hacking at the cord 

Trying to trip you

Sever the cord 

One strand of elastic at a time.

But you have a chance with them 

Because you can hear them coming

Because you can see them 

You can brace yourself 

And sometimes 

They go away 

If you go to the attic 

Do lots of jobs 

They will get bored 

And leave on their own

But the bed

The couch

They corner you there 

So you need to be ready 

The problem is 

Every time they cut the cord

We tie it back together 

But the cord is getting shorter 

And shorter 

And it just doesn’t bounce as smoothly 

So we thought we’d hire a builder 

To restore the floors

And we’ve been thinking about putting in some stairs 

Anyway 

it’s a live in position

You can start today 

– a journey to self-regulation