I’m good at secrets
It’s just that they are bad with me
I’ve been a good secret
More times than I can count
And its strange to me now
How someone so loud
Can be so quiet
–
I remember when you decided
To stop loving me in secret
full up with rum
Romance and bravery
You lit a bunch of candles
In your bedroom you made an alter
I was in the shower
You came running in with a mug
Trying desperately
To fill it with water in the sink
Your curtains had caught fire
Flaming drapery
Melting into liquid
Smouldering in to the mattress
The smoke alarm went off
Your dad came out
Enraged and confused
Your daddy was mean son of a bitch anyway
He put out the fire
You were naked under your silk gown
And he put you down
He put out your fire
We went back to public parks
Vacant night markets behind Trestle tables
We never talked about it
But I knew it was a secret
–
I knew I was your secret
When your mum called you
And you told her you were at work
But we both got off hours ago
And we both knew why
you’d taken me to that empty courtyard
You’d just show up at my place
Uninvited
I knew your family would disapprove
You made it clear you were working something out Through me
With me
On me
you never told anyone
What you did
With me
To me
What you asked me
to do
to you
–
So many secrets
Stacked one on the other
Each layer telling a different story
You taught me many things
But the biggest one
was that lovin’ you was lonely
And I didn’t know much
But even little children know
There are only two kinds of Secrets
Good secrets
That are for fun surprises
And bad secrets
That have a special kind of shame
And you sure had a way
of turning a Good one
Into a bad one