I am a captain 
I grew up on these seas
I know how to read you
I know when the winds change
When things take a turn
I know how to ride it out 
How to steer 
How to hold on
I know how to stay afloat 
I know what I can afford to cut lose 
And I know turbulence 
I have weathered every single one of your storms
And I’m still here 
I have always managed to find a safe place to moor 
So I could repair 
Restore 
And be ready for the next one
–
But this season is different 
The storms are coming harder and faster
Maybe I just can’t keep up 
You can smash this ship faster than I can patch it 
And there are so many leaks
I’m trying to find them
And you’re trying to sink me 
–
I have found myself 
In the eye of the storm
And I have been here before 
I am a little boat 
And I have seen your swell
Felt your thunder 
I have rode your white horses 
But this time is different
Bigger
Badder
There is no reprieve 
you are a seismic sea wave 
A wall of water
I can see it coming
Gaining speed
Gaining size 
I can feel the undertow pulling me closer
Sucking me in
My ship feels small
Fragile 
Precious 
But I’ve no choice
I am at your mercy
And you show none
You have none
You are unending 
There is no noise but for you crashing
There is no horizon
I have lost everything that was not tied down 
–
This boat is being 
Held together by manila rope 
With each new blow 
I feel the rope strain 
One by one 
Each strand stretches 
Snaps 
Frayed 
Hanging on by a fibre 
A single thread 
And you can’t stop
Won’t stop 
I have been overturned
Capsized  
Shipwrecked 
Flotsam 
Adrift 
I surface
And im sucked back down
Each new crash flips me 
I don’t know which way is up
How to get out
And it occurs to me 
As I watch the air bubbles 
rush to the surface above me 
That I should just let you
Let you take me 
If I don’t come back up
You can’t pull me back down 
My lungs fill with water
The sounds of the storm 
Are dampened 
Submitting to the cold
The blackness underneath
A phosphorescent glow 
Flickers beneath 
Illuminating 
The body of my brother 
I have nothing left 
But I swim to him 
If this is to be the end 
Even if I don’t make it 
I need him to know 
That I came for him 
And I won’t leave without him 
Our bodies swirling with the current 
I pull him to the surface
You send in another set
–
One thousand 
Thundering white horses.
The sea is always angry
And he is too small to ride
–
When I close my eyes 
I can see us 
Standing on the shore 
in the morning sun
–
So I hold on to that
As I hold on to him
Fighting to keep his hand 
As the ocean tears us apart