She’s got that deep sadness
The kind you cant imagine
The kind you need to feel
To know
The cold kind
The kind that creeps up
The kind that takes your words away
The kind that seeps under the door like smoke
And will swallow you whole
Her eyes
replaced with empty corridors
The ones with bars to keep you out
And keep her in
–
Drowning in an ocean
Pulled by the undertow
Got you spinning
Upside down
You come up for air
Gasping
seeing only for a moment
And then you go under
Violent
Deep blues
Blacks
She cant see
In colour
Frenzied she breathes in
Breathes in
Breathes in
–
She doesn’t breathe out
Her lungs are full
Full of the things
Unsaid
Unspoken
Full of fragments
Of concrete car parks
Of broken washing baskets
Of sunflower hats and denim dresses
Of ornaments in cabinets glued back together
Of words in notebooks
Of a splice on Sundays
And false starts on Mondays
Of memories
Tied to the end of a stick
in a red ragged handkerchief
–
And I try to catch you
As clumsily as a child
Trying to catch a small silver fish
With nothing but a tiny hand
Lost in the current
Lost in the waves
Lost in the light
I am helpless
And you can give me
No signal
But Im chasing your glint
Trying to hold back the ocean
Until I can find you

–